Tuesday 4th July, 12:55pm.
The Rutherford Office.
Another school year comes to an end – this time a full week later than the last, owing to a start-of-the-holidays school trip to Austria. It’s been quite a year. I knew this was going to be an emotional year, watching the graduation of the cohort that joined when I did, now five years ago. All the same, I did not expect it to be quite as golden as it was. I’m still riding the high of victory in house music, and that was back in October, and my teeth are still chattering from the nerves of debating in public for the first time against our indomitable student all-stars in May. Couple that with a run of surprise parties and heartfelt parting gifts, this is the year when I have felt happiest as a teacher. And quite right, too – it’s been the perfect panacea after last year’s nightmarish run of bad luck.
Not that it hasn’t been without its trials. I had a particularly memorable birthday, which saw my partner and I part ways for good, and in case that wasn’t enough of a gut-punch, I spent the rest of the night mopping up vomit and bile with my own hands as a wave of violent sickness swept the school. Somebody up there must have taken pity, because I never came down with the bug myself, despite being right at its heart for the best part of a week.
I have had moments this year that have brought me crashing down. But I remain unflinchingly true to my principle of hope. Wishy-washy as it sounds, I am convinced that a fervent belief in the light we carry inside of us will always carry us through, no matter how dark the world beyond. The torch I carry is the same one my ancestors bore before me, and that’s a massive help. So while this year I have sometimes felt more akin to Eccleston’s Ninth Doctor (“coward, any day”) rather than Tennant’s Tenth – upon whom I now realised I have modeled so much of my day-to-day teaching persona – I have held on to the belief that somehow, whatever happens, all will be well. Call it God’s plan or whatever you will. I call it hope. And in a world where people fill that uncertain void with TikTok, Netflix, and mindless gym routines, hope is a bloody good thing to have in your pocket.
August is looming, and August means the long-delayed intensive driving course (which I have wisely stopped calling a crash course, for all the obvious reasons). Previous plans would have left July wide open, but as I’m not really the planning kind, I tossed a coin a week ago and made the decision to press on with the Camino – perhaps all the way to the end, this time. I certainly have the time, for once. And after a bumpy end to a golden year, I can think of no better way to seek healing.
I haven’t packed quite yet. I still need to book a taxi to Gatwick for tomorrow morning, and I haven’t got around to reserving a hotel yet. And I haven’t even looked at what the flight home might look like, as I’m keeping my options open on that front. But that’s OK. This is me as I am, without any pretenses to normalcy. I was originally due to fly yesterday, but given that it would have left me with all of twelve hours to recover from the music tour to Austria, I got sensible and booked a different flight. It’s all the same in the end, but my head (and my feet) will appreciate the respite.
I’ve only ever done week-long stints of the Camino, and if I intend to reach Santiago, I will be on the road for a little over three weeks. I will have to look after myself if I don’t want to end up like the Americans I met at Easter, sporting heels all shades of iodine. Fortunately, I’ve packed plenty of Compede blister plasters, and being a reasonably experienced peregrino, I know what not to do: that is, keep my trousers short and my breaks long. I’ll also try to hang back and not rush to make it to Santiago for the saint’s day on the 25th, which is roughly when I would arrive if I don’t stop once – as that tends to be a focal point for pilgrims on the trail. No, I think I’ll take it slow. The meseta is capricious at the best of times, and should not be trifled with. And it’s likely to be hot.
I’m feeling pretty well-traveled at the moment. This time two weeks ago I was in the gardens of Sevilla’s Real Alcazar, humoring our tour guide with a smile while my students sought refuge in the shade as the temperatures neared 40 degrees. One week ago I was unloading my violin from the coach in the valley of Huttau, staring up into the snow-bound peaks of the Berchtesgaden Alps and reminiscing on seeing that same sight through the eyes of a child, seventeen years ago. This time tomorrow I will be back in Burgos, journal in hand, on my own at last and savouring the free air and the knowledge of the open road stretching for three-hundred miles before me. I can’t wait!
As always, I will keep you posted. Until then, chavales. BB x
The Book of Barnabas 